Joan Jarrett, M.D., polled dozens of doctors to find out what they would tell you, if only they could.  Here are the top twelve.

 

01. WE ARE WORKING ON YOUR CASE, EVEN IF IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE DISAPPEARED.

Physicians often forget how scary being in the hospital can be. Rest assured that when the doctor is not at your bedside, he or she is writing up your evaluation, the plan and the orders outlining what needs to be done for you, all the while checking for test results and recalculating the diagnosis an plan. You may not see him or her until the next day, but your doctor, or physician on call, is available by phone continuously to address your concerns.

 

02. WHEN WE KEEP YOU WAITING, IT’S NOT BECAUSE WE THINK OUR TIME IS MORE VALUABLE THAN YOURS.

But if the patient before you mentions blood in his or her stool or talks about suicidal impulses, your appointment needs to wait. Your best bet is to schedule the first appointment of the day.

 

03. WE NEED COMPLETE HONESTY FROM YOU.

This means telling us what drugs you’ve taken, legal and illegal, so we can help you avoid interactions. It means answering honestly about sexual function and behavior, even if you fear we wouldn’t approve. We think no less of patients who struggle with mental and emotional issues.

 

04. WE KNOW LIFESTYLE CHANGE IS HARD.

And boring. We try and fail often ourselves. But sometimes diet, exercise and/or alcohol abstinence really are the best treatments.

 

05. MANY OF US HAVE PTSD.

I have nightmares about patients down an infinite hall, each with a problem worse than the last. In my short career, I’ve seen a baby take her last breaths. I’ve watched a woman, bleeding uncontrollably after giving birth, lose consciousness as I worked, a pool of her blood expanding at my feet. I’ve heard a woman, after having both her legs traumatically severed, saying goodbye to her father, assuming she wouldn’t survive. I could go on. We know we signed up for it. But keep in mind, when you’re tempted to be angry with your doctor, that we are under stress, too.

 

 

06. WE WISH WE HAD BETTER ADVICE FOR WEIGHT LOSS.

Medical schools don’t spend much time on nutrition. Although body weight has significant, holistic health implications, the field of medicine is at somewhat of a loss here. Our best advice, however vague it might be, is to increase your physical activity, avoid processed foods and eat vegetables at most meals.

 

07. SOMETIMES THE INTERNET IS RIGHT.

There, I said it. You can find useful health information online. We love a well-read, inquisitive patient, and we’ll be happy to touch on any of your internet-fueled fears. Just be careful. The internet can lead you to unnecessary panic or to dismiss something that shouldn’t be ignored. And we wary of discussion boards; incorrect advice can be very convincing. Remember, there is no substitute for medical training, experience and complex analysis.

 

 

08. WE KNOW YOU’VE ANSWERED THIS QUESTION ALREADY…

…and we’re sorry to ask again. When you call for an appointment, you’re asked what’s going on. Then, when you’re checked in, you’re asked again. So when you finally get ot see the doctor, you’re sick of the story. But we can’t help it. We have to hear it with our own ears.

 

09. YES, SOME OF US ARE JERKS.

Most doctors mean well and are doing their best. But if you are not getting a sense that your physician, although human and harried, has your best interest at heart, find one who does.

 

10. WE WORRY ABOUT YOU.

We lie awake worried sick about you more often than you’d imagine. We may wonder about you for years after you leave our care. The stakes are so high, and we know it.

 

11. WE MAKE MISTAKES.

Our fear of screwing up is exhausting, weighty and ever present – it’s the hardest thing about doctoring. We do make mistakes. Be wary of anyone who won’t admit that.

 

12. WE WANT THE VERY BEST FOR YOU.

Just know that. It’s the bottom line.

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A special thanks to Joan Jarret, M.D. for generously allowing us to share her article with our lupus community!  The content of her blog can be useful for any doctor-patient relationship, it is especially useful for those of us living with lupus.   Check out more of her articles at cozyclothesblog.com.

 

Author:  Joan Jarret, M.D.  

Originally posted on cozyclothesblog.com

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